Adios and Si Yu'us Maasi Saipan

Date of arrival in saipan: February 8, 2006
Date of departure: February 10, 2007
Length of stay: 367 days

At the Francisco Ada International Airport prior to my departure. With my badminton friends - Cathy, Cecile and Cecile's cousin. February 10, 2007


Thank you and Goodbye Saipan.

After one year and 2 days, I am leaving the island which has served as my temporary home. An island where I experienced and learned a lot of things about myself and about other people.

Thank you and goodbye saipan. Thank you for the improvement in my financial status which has allowed me to afford a two month sabbatical. Two months which helped me re-discover relationships which were important to me. Relationships with my family and my friends.

Thank you and goodbye saipan. Thank you for the chance to feel varied emotions in a more intense manner. Thank you for the experience of fear, hate, love, affection, hurt, gratitude and many more. Thank you for the appreciation which helped boost my confidence.

Thank you and goodbye saipan. Thank you for the chance to be one of the living heroes of my country. Thank you for the OFW experience. Now I know the struggles and the rewards of being a contract worker. The good and the not so good side.

Thank you and goodbye saipan. Thank you for the new acquaintances and friends. Thank you for the companionships albeit temporary and fleeting. Thank you for the chance to share my humanity with others and to experience others' humanity too. I am enriched with such experiences.

Thank you and goodbye saipan. Thank you for the chance to work in a multi-cultural environment. Thank you for a chance to see work in a different backdrop. Thank you for the new learnings specially about US labor laws.

Thank you and goodbye saipan. Thank you for the chance to appreciate where I came from. Thank you for making me see my previous company in a different light. Thank you for the opportunity to compare what I had before and what I have now.

Thank you and goodbye saipan. For the many experiences which you made me go through for the past 367 days. The learnings and unlearnings which has helped me be the person I am right now.

This is my last entry in this blog. Goodbye Saipan. Thank you for everything!

Saipan in Figures and Images

Average population - 70,000

Minimum wage - $3.05/hour

Average cost of lunch in a Pinoy carinderia - $3.00
(includes rice, ulam and a drink)

Cost of taxi fare (yung colorum na Korean taxi) - $3 per trip

Number of Mayors - 4 (Saipan, Tinian, Rota and the Northern Islands)

Number of Senators - 9 Senators

Number of Representatives - 14 representatives

Allowance for one member of the house (equivalent siguro ng pork barrel sa Pilipinas) - $155,000 per year

Average electricity bill - $91/month for 33kwh consumption

5 gal. of mineral water - $2.00

Breakfast Meal in McDonald's - $4.99
(Sausage McMuffin, Coffee and Hash Brown)

Service charge for remittance to the Philippines - $5 per transaction

Service charge for 1 balikbayan box regardless of weight - $50 in LBC/$40 to $45 in other companies

Cost of one turon - $1

One loaf of bread - $1.70 (pero kung one-day old na yung bread, 50% discount na)

2 pcs. chicken meal in KFC - $5.29 (kaya lang hindi kasing sarap ng gravy ng KFC sa Pilipinas ang gravy ng KFC dito)

Fare to Tinian - $64 round trip

Average time for a plane ride to Tinian - 10 minutes

Type of plane that flies to Tinian - di ko alam. basta 6-seater sya (I think I have to ask John)

Average fare to Rota - $149 round trip

Type of plane that flies to Rota - di ko rin alam.

A Car Story

My Car and I


You were more than a car. You were a silent witness to a life!

One of the questions asked during my job interview for Saipan was, "Do you know how to drive?"

I didn't know how to drive that time so my answer was, "I could learn." (I never had my own car before so I didn't think it was necessary to learn how to drive. In Manila, public transport was available anyway.)

When I came to Saipan, it was my first time to have my own car.

I had a 2003 Mitsubishi Outlander. I just wanted something that could bring me from point A to point B without hassles but I got so much more than what I bargained for.

The car taught me a difficult lesson about trust. It was a painful lesson that cost me another dream. The dream of owning a laptop. You see, after 3 months, I discovered that the car needed major repairs. It was so perfect on the outside (I never had a car, so I didn't know anything about cars except models and prices) but it had a lot of stories to tell inside. I spent close to $1,200 to replace the parts. And to think I only had the car for 3 months. That experience made me realize that someone whom I thought was a good and sincere friend turned out to be nothing but a hoax.

After that experience, I forced myself to move on.

The car never had problems after that. I felt at home in it. It brought me from where I wanted to go and at the same time, it gave me confidence in my driving skills.

My red car has been a good car. It was my place of prayer and meditation. I used to live in Garapan area for 9 months and the 20 minute drive to Chalan Kanoa afforded me my "quiet time." I am not a very religious person but I am proud to say that I am more spiritual than religious.

I drive from Garapan to CK, passing by the Beach Road. For the past 9 months, I was a silent witness to the beauty of nature and I can't help but be awed by the wonderful artistry of a God who made all these.

I was a witness to the blue, green and calm waters of the beach. (My favorite spot is the stretch from 13 Fisherman Monument to Toyota Microl). I was a witness to the bright red-orange petals of the flame trees. Flame trees are my favorite trees. One of the fondest memories I have of summer was when we travelled from Puerto Princesa to El Nido in Palawan. The whole stretch of the road was lined with flame trees. Alone and definitely homesick in Saipan, the flame trees in full bloom bring me back to that wonderful summer.

I was a witness when the rains started to come in June and when the flowers fell into the ground covering the Beach Road in orange carpet. I felt like a queen driving in a carpeted road.

My car was a witness to the human side of me. The various emotions that charactize my person. The excitement I felt while driving to the airport at 3a.m. to fetch my friends, the joy of having them and driving them around the island for 10-days in August, the pain of saying goodbye to them, the frustrations, the giddiness after seeing my crush (he!he!), the conversations with friends, the fear of evacuating after hearing the tsunami warnings, the memorizations, the dreams, the discussions, arguments and tender emotional moments with an officemate and the mundane concerns of every day.

My car was a place where I sang out loud to Better Days, Fast Car, Subcity, You Learn, Someone to Watch Over me and more. It was a place where Cecille and I would sing our hearts out while driving in the dark street of Middle Road and Beach Road. It was a place to listen to the music of MartinNievera, Alanis Morisette, Tracy Chapman, Nina, Eraserheads, the Beatles, James Ingram, John Denver, John Mayer, MYMP, Hotdogs and many more.

When I sold it 2 weeks ago, I felt sad. I realized that I had developed an emotional attachment to the car. It saw me through the various phases of my life here in Saipan and now that I am leaving, it has to go too.

I wonder when will I ever have my own car again. In a year? In a couple of years? I want to have the same kind - Mitsubishi Outlander. But I promised myself that when that time comes, I am buying it brand new!

Picture Perfect ( A Poem for B)

I sit across your lunch table
Grinning perpetually
Like a therapist on prozac.

I listen intently as you tell me
Stories of your conquests
The latest string of women who
have consecrated themselves at your altar.

You thrive in this hedonist's paradise
Where you live like a hamster
Always climbing a flight of endless stairs
That goes round and round
Leading to nowhere.

Is it with pride that you share your latest bedmate?
"Fwends" as you call them
Or is it a way to assuage the guilt?

I try my best to see past your words
My eyes lead me to your wife and kids
Who spend Sundays on their knees
Lighting candles in an altar where God,
probably is too busy to hear their pleas.

I scream in silent horror
As your picture perfect image
Shatters right before my eyes.

In Transit . . . . Stuck in an Airport

In Transit (The Poster)

The Ticket for our play - $5 each

A candid shot of me when I was delivering my piece. "Why Am I in Saipan." This picture was published in Maharlika. A magazine about Pinoys in the Marianas.

I want to share with you the first few paragraphs of my monologue.

Imagine this, it's 2 a.m. I've woken up again in the middle of the night. It's raining outside and the endless patter provides a melancholic music to my sadness.

I reach out for the other side of my bed like an instinct, hoping to find a loved-one beside me. But my arms land not on a warm body. It lands on a soft and cold pillow.

I stare at the ceiling. I close my eyes. Wishing for sleep to come. Wishing for dreams to bring me back to my bed in Manila. Nothing happens. I open my eyes. Stare at the ceiling once again until I get bored. I lose the staring match.

I reach for my phone and start to send text messages to my best friend in Manila. But, it's probably midnight there and another text message in the middle of the night would be answered back tomorrow at 10 when she wakes up. My loneliness cannot wait that long.

So, I try to connect with another lonely soul. My fellow contract worker who's been a constant lunch date for months. But, he's probably out there in some bar meeting other people and maybe he has found a temporary shelter in the arms of yet, another stranger. Still, I text him. He replies. He replies in gibberish. I realize the futility of my effort and chose to just go back to sleep.

But like Lady Macbeth, sleep escapes me. My mind is in overdrive thinking of that decision that brought me here in Saipan. Alone and lonely at 2am, on a rainy Saturday, I start blaming the weather for this crippling melancholy.

etc. etc...........

It all started in September of 2006 when I read about the Marianas Monologues in the newspaper. A group of writers wanted articles about other people's experiences of their life in Saipan.

I've been writing essays all my life, so I submitted one essay I wrote in August. It was about being homesick and alone in Saipan. My struggles as I try to adjust to the rhythm of life in the island. My experiences with fellow Filipinos and the failures and triumphs of my first 6 months in Saipan.

I wrote a 3-page essay in which I described my musings and random thoughts at 2 a.m. on that rainy Saturday in August. After a few revisions here and there, my essay turned into a monologue and made it to the final selection of the monologues to be included in the theater play called, "In Transit.....Stuck in an Airport."

Meetings, Readings, Rehearsals followed. I was happy to be part of the group composed mostly of Americans, Chinese and Chamorros. It was a multi-cultural group bound together by the same passion for the arts. Although I was the only Pinoy in the group, I felt at home right away because these people have the same interest as I do. Writing, Theater, Literature. Finally, I met people who speaks the language of my heart.

(In my apartment, I have to warn my landlady that when she hears me talking to myself, she doesn't have to worry. No, I am not going crazy. It's just me, memorizing my lines. )

Our first playdate was January 20, 2007. The theater was full. The show was by invitation only because we didn't have tickets on that date. The audience loved our show and they started to tell their friends about it.

Main show was held on January 26 and January 27, 2007.

It was an SRO crowd on the 26th and 27th! 95% of the audience were Caucasians. A handful of Asians and very few Pinoys. Now I know what theater actors feel before the show. The anxiety and the battle with stage fright. And the joy after the show, specifically during curtain calls when the audience gives you a standing ovation!

The play dealt on many issues about life in this island. How a vegetarian copes up with the choice of vegetables in Saipan. The experiences of a Chinese teacher who is torn whether to stay in Saipan or to go back to China. My experiences as a Filipino contract worker. A local guy's view about his "bitter times". A gay guy's experience growing up in this culture where there are only 2 roles - that of a male and that of a female. A woman's experience in panic attack. Another woman shared her experience of Saipan as an island where you are forced to look deep inside yourself. Cultural differences, struggles about life, about relationships. Indeed, everyone has baggage.

We blazed a trail for original theater in Saipan. The island is ready for it and although I am leaving soon, my heart will always be with my "In Transit" friends and acquaintances. In such a short time, we have become good friends and members of the mutual admiration society. I wish all my co-members in Voices of the Marianas, "Break a leg!"

My Theater Experience

During our Dress Rehearsals


At the Cast Party in Susan's House

Different on the outside but the same on the inside. Our common love for theater binds us.

We opened to an SRO crowd last night. The ticket manager has to turn away some people and told them to just come back tomorrow night because the theater was full. They have to add some seats just to accomodate the crowd.

Last Saturday's preview did work. The audience loved the show and started to tell their friends about it. We were in the papers for 3 days in a row. It was my first time to see my picture in the papers. (This would definitely be in the pages of my scrapbook)

It was my first time to "act" in front of the crowd. I wrote my own piece so I am pretty confident on what to say, but still, there is that feeling of fear and anxiety. "What if I forgot my lines? What if I trip? What if....What if....." My hands were shaking and my lips were dry. It's a good thing that the spotlight was blinding me, so I just concentrated on my piece and delivered my lines.

As I spoke, I felt the nervousness disappear. I was telling my story to all the people in the audience. Hey, this is my experience. I woke up at 2am. I was lonely and alone. I can't sleep and I am terribly homesick. The audience listened. And they listened well.

Our director said that at least of couple of people approached her after the show and said that my piece made them cry.

Last night, a Chinese lady came to me and said that she related so much with my piece and that she misses her country too.

I felt good hearing those feedbacks. It makes me realize that the voice I have within me, is the same voice that could reach out to other people regardless of race and color. The feeling of homesickness is a universal feeling.

My professor in Creative Non-Fiction class was right. It takes a lot of honesty and courage to go deep inside yourself and tell the world your story. We may be different on the outside but definitely the same on the inside. (It's just so disappointing that the person whose journey was closest to mine, chose not to watch the show. But, it was his loss not mine.)

I love theater! On to the next show!

Cash Cathedrals

"OFW Remittances hit all-time high of $14B" (Phil. Daily Inquirer - 1/27/07)

"BPI sees peso reaching 46:$1, 91-day T-bill rate 3%" (Phil. Daily Inquirer - 1/25/07)

Dollar Daze
"Catch Bus#22 along Clark Avenue in Chicago even in the bleakest of winter days and you're bound to meet a shivering, dollar-bearing yet still grinning kababayan on the way to cash cathedral - the PNB remittance center. Even as parting with our hard-earned cash makes our parkas feel a teeny bit thinner, somehow the thought of having met our obligation is comforting. " -Letter from Chicago - Armand Frasco (Phil. Daily Inquirer - 12/14/06)

Cash cathedrals. That is what writer Armand Frasco calls the remittance companies. Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) usually hang out in Catholic churches and of course in the other "church," the other cathedral which is the remittance center.

Here in Saipan, there are a lot of remittance centers and agents that cater mostly to Pinoy OFWs. PNB (one of the biggest banks in the Philippines) has 2 branches here. BPI (my former bank) has 2 agents here in the island. LBC, Rustans, APEX and many others service the remittance needs of the living heroes of the Philippines.

Remittance companies usually charge $5 per transaction. Banks usually charge higher fees for wire transfers and telegraphic transfers so an ordinary OFW would of course transact with a remittance center with a lower fee scale for a faster and safer method of transmitting the funds.

Most of the remittance centers are online. All it takes is a few seconds for the funds to be available to the beneficiaries in any part of the Philippines. One of the many advantages of the advances in technology.

I remember reading stories (when I was younger) from the first batch of Pinoy contract workers - the construction workers in the Middle East. They used to send cash thru mails (which gets stolen sometimes) or when someone goes home for a vacation in the Philippines, that person would act as the courier. Of course, a lot of risk is involved in this. The courier is held-up, or he runs away with the money, or he is conned. But that was ages ago. OFWs are lot smarter now and with the technological advances available to them, sending money back home is easier, safer and faster.

And by remitting money home, the economy of our poor country is kept afloat. According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer (1/27/07), "At $14B, the amount would be about 60% of the foreign exchange reserves of the Central Bank of the Philippines, which surged to an all time high of $23B at end of 2006."

Mabuhay ang mga buhay na bayani ng Pilipinas!

Here are some of the pictures I took. The Cash Cathedrals of Saipan!

Chamorro 101

The Pinay Expat Wearing the Traditional Islander Costume.

Saipan. My home for 1 year. I've learned so much from my stay here. Sana lahat ng natutunan ko ay magamit ko sa aking mga susunod na adventures. Heto ang ilan sa mga salitang Chamorro na itinuro sa akin ng aking officemate na si Martin.


Hafa Adai - Mabuhay!

Hafa? - What's up?

Adios - Goodbye

Hazi Naanmu? - What is your name?

Inannu si Pam - My name is Pam

Inanmu si Bert - His name is Bert

Namoli ki dia - Have a good day

Benlana Hao - the "F----word"

Kaduko - Crazy guy

Kaduka - Crazy lady

Za hu y cafe - I like the coffee

Za hu y kareta - I like the car

Adios, esta gupa - Goodbye see you tomorrow

Esta birada - See you later

Guay za hao Mae - I love Mae

Ti guay za hao Pres. Bush - I don't love Pres. Bush

Plumeria - Calachuci

Tangan-tangan - ipil-ipil tree

Palpalatong - Kalokohan, Bola

Mallik - Good

Unggan - Yes

Pronunciation:

When I was in Singapore 2 years ago, I noticed that Singaporeans accentuate their English with "Lah" So they say, "OK lah." "No, lah!" Chamorros accentuate English with "Ne." So here, in Saipan, it's "OK Ne." "No, ne"

"Check fan the files, ne." - Can you check the files please.

"Nut....ting" - Nothing

Words ending in 'L' are pronounced in 'short L' and with a heavy turn about kind of accent at the end of the word." Example: Mel (M^el), bottle - (ba te^L)

American Dream

Issues confronting the islands these days.

There are 2 issues that pervade the island these days. Minimum wage hike and federalization.

When I inform my acquaintances that I am no longer renewing my contract, their reaction would be that of shock. And then, they would ask me, "Why?"

I would just shrug my shoulders and say, "Because....."

They can't understand why in the world would I leave Saipan? I have a good job and my employment condition is "rare" compared to the mainstream employment conditions of contract workers here. Some would even try to change my mind and encourage me to stay. "Naku, malapit ng maging federal ang Saipan. Magtiis ka na lang."

Again, I would just shrug my shoulders and smile.

Recently, the US congress has passed the bill raising the minimum wage to $7.25 per hour. Here in Saipan, the minimum wage is $3.05 per hour. A lot of buzz has been going around. The concern whether businessmen would be able to pay the raise. With the economic slump on the island, where are a lot of businesses are closing shop, I wonder how would a slow business condition afford such wage hike.

A lot of contract workers are worried whether their company would still be open tomorrow. Non-renewal notices are being sent out and advance notices from employers are circulating. Employees are being adviced to seek a job in another company because the business is winding down. Reduced work hours have been implemented in various private and even public companies.

Since Saipan has no agriculture, no high-skilled local workforce and with such a small land area, basic economic principles would see the island as doomed.

Saipan economy used to depend on tourism and garment export. With just a handful of tourists annually and with garment factories relocating to cheaper China, Saipan needs Uncle Sam to rescue its economy.

Another big issue is the immigration policies. Contract workers have easier time to enter Saipan (a US territory) because Saipan immigration laws are unique and distinct from US immigration policies. A contract worker gets an entry permit (equivalent to working visa) which would only be valid in the 3-major islands of the CNMI. (Saipan, Tinian and Rota)

A contract worker cannot go to Guam (requires a US visa) or to the US mainland. Contract workers could stay here for 10 to 20 years or even longer, yet, they would not be granted residency (unlike in the US mainland, where you can have greencard or residence status).

Recently, a rally was held to propose that immigration laws be reviewed and that long time contract workers be granted residency or green card. (Children born in the CNMI are automatically granted US citizenship, thus, Pinoy contract workers call their kids, "Agila." The term is from the eagle printed on the US passport.)

Many Pinoy contract workers are patiently waiting for the "green card." Some even say that maybe the US would grant automatic greencard or even citizenship to all people in the CNMI. "Ganyan ang ginawa sa Guam dati. Organic. Pati yung mga nasa eroplano, automatic na US citizen na."

As I hear these issues, I can't help but wonder, "What will happen to Saipan?"

Would the US government rescue it? Would its economy recover? Would the "American Dreams" of fellow Pinoy contract workers be fulfilled? What would happen to the locals? Would the local government officials allow the changes?

I am leaving soon, so I could only watch from a distance as the events unfold.

New Year sa Saipan

First and Last New Year ko dito sa Saipan. Nakaraos naman ng maluwalhati.

Naimbitahan kami ng mommy ni April to welcome the New Year at their house. So, Alex, April and I stayed there. Kainan. Kantahan (kaya umulan ng malakas). Kulitan. Nood ng DVD. Laro ng cards at billiards. And of course, I learned how to play Tekken. April's little brother taught me how. He got a PSP last Christmas. Nakaka-addict pala maglaro ng Tekken. (hmmm, para tuloy gusto kong bumili ng PSP).

After that, attend naman kami ng company party nina April. The New Year's party is part of their company's tradition, where (almost) all the employees are invited to the bosses' house. Of course, food and drinks were overflowing (typical Chamorro party), music is provided by a local band (cha-cha siyempre ang tugtog). I saw some acquaintances and exchanged new year greetings. There was a "talent" show by employees and children of employees.

The raffle draw is the highlight of the party. Prizes at stake were refrigerators, TVs, dining set, sofa, bed, and other consolation prizes. April won a phone.

There was also a fireworks display. We went home at around 10pm, tired and exhausted.

Hay, one month na lang ako dito sa Saipan. I am quietly saying goodbye to all these.

Here are some photos I took during the party.

Talent Show. Employees dancing "Boom Tarat"



Take your pick. Coke. Sprite. Oolong Tea. Iced-tea.



Ice box for alcoholics. Bud light. Miller. Corona.



At the Buffet Table. Java Rice. Meat. Meat. Meat. Meat.



Fish with Veggies and Pepper. Hot!hot!hot!



Consolation Prizes for the Raffle.



Lois with the major prizes.



Salad.



Employees at the party. 98% of them, Pinoys!




Employees enjoying their dinner.



Alex and April. Beautiful couple.



Haven for the Dehydrated! Ice-box for water.



Giant Pumpkin on Display at one of the supermarkets here in Saipan. (Taken during the Halloween.)




Mother of all kalabasas!

525,600 minutes

I am sitting in front of my computer trying to evaluate the year that was. The year 2006. I have made major changes in my life. I've switched jobs, left home and worked abroad (isa na akong buhay na bayani), experienced new things, learned how to navigate in a new jungle, learned how to drive, owned a car, fell in and out of love, gained new friends and met acquaintances.

One year is equivalent to 525,600 minutes. What have I done to those minutes?

I would like to measure the year 2006 in love! Being away from home made me realize how lucky am I to have my family who loves me. How lucky I am to have Tes, Dina, Elay, Arlene, Pops, Jeff, Margaret, Mariz, Marivic, Jocon, Lilibeth, CA, Mel, CY, Rosel, Lorna, Raffy, Lorie (i hope i didn't miss anyone. he!he!) who have been my friends for years. Lynvi, Beng, Josette, Mona, Jojo, Joyce. I could go on and on. I have a lot of loyal and trusted friends. How lucky I was to have worked in BPI. A really world class bank, where professionalism and integrity mark every transaction.

But I was lucky too, to have come to Saipan. It made me compare what I had before and what I have now. The experiences (both good and bad) I had here would surely enrich me as a person.

I am posting my favorite song from the musical Rent. How do we really measure a year?

Let's measure it in LOVE!

Seasons of Love

525,600 minutes
525,000 moments so dear
525,600 minutes
how do you measure
measure a year?


In daylights, in sunsets,
In midnights, in cups of coffee.

In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.

Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes
525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minustes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned
or in times that he cried?
In bridges he burned or
the way that she died?

It's time now to sing out, though the story never ends
Let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love! Remember the love! Remember the love!
Measure in love.

Seasons of love!
Seasons of love.